Gathafi, Ghadaffi, Kadafi whatever, was weer in Italië. Het leek een herhaling van vorige keer. Er werden blikken lekkere wijven opengerukt, waar de Libische leider islamitisch verantwoord op los ging. Volgens sommige berichten gingen deze keer drie vrouwen overstag en bekeerden zich tot de religie van de vrede.

Hier in Nederland maken correcte mensen zich zorgen over het aanzien van ons land als Wilders premier wordt. Welnu, als Gathafi nog overal komt, overal zaken kan doen en overal liefdevol aan de borst gedrukt wordt, mag Wilders nog héél véél geks doen en zeggen. Niet? Onderstaand mijn mail aan de grote leider na zijn 2009 bezoek aan Italiaanse schoonen.

To: info@algathafi.org -President Mu'ammar Al-Gathafi (that's how our great Libyan leader prefers his name) - www.algathafi.org

Dear President Mu'ammar Al-Gathafi,

Once again we had good fun with you. As is usual these days, it happened in Italy. In the past you liked to entertain yourself at the French Riviera with naughty nights of Black Label and nookie. Now your Mental likes to travel to Italy. Here your Wickedness doesn't only spread the fruit of his loin, but also the word of Allah's messenger (piss be upon him). Your Hornyness still has class though. Your Thorough Rotten didn't invite the ignorant meek in the shape of two hundred beggars, two hundred poor lost souls or two hundred lonely old women, but two hundred young beauties to be converted to Islam.

Your Utter Bollocks must have been in the mood. No? Perhaps not as much as last time, when sevenhundred ladies or so could have found heaven with you between their legs, but still, two hundred for one night is not a bad score for your Fruitcake.

Did your Sickness succeed in converting any of these infidel whores to the One True Faith? I'm very curious what surahs you gave them foul uncovered sinners. So thoughtful of your Imbecile to give them all a Qur'an to keep. The Prophet (piss be upon him) must be proud of you. Did them wicked Italian models make life err..hard for you during your Qur'an lecture? Your Vomit must have fought a thousand seductions from these evil infidel women. Yes I know, there were only two hundred, but they were Italian girls. I have no pity for your Moron though. You invited them.

Did all the girls stay the whole lecture? I know your Puke occasionally forgets the time in all your enthusiasm. Did they hang on every word you spoke about Islam, the Prophet, peace and shit? I'm sure they did. Everybody always listens with great interest to any word your Mumbling Rambler utters. Who can forget your glorious UN speech? It made lasting bowel movements and many breakfasts found an early grave under seats in lieu of a toilet. Words can make a difference. Words can have an impact. Your Nonsense's words most definitely.

I am so glad our wise European leaders have welcomed you again and appreciate your visits, advises and messages. When you first arrived again in Brussels in 2004, after a long period of silly misunderstandings, ignorance and mistrust on our behalf, I wept. I cried warm tears of welcome when your Garbage set foot in our European Capital. I let out loud cheers of joy when our leaders embraced your Bastard. Peace and wisdom at last.

Your obedient servant,

Michiel Mans

NOS reportage van zijn laatste bezoek

Onderstaand een stuk dat ik schreef voor gatesofvienna.blogspot.com.

'Till death do us part'

Some relationships work, some don't. If they don't, things can grow nasty. Love doesn't always 'feed the needs' till sixty-four. In forced marriages there even is no love to begin with. Postpone the divorce too long and one might kill the other forcing the 'till death do us part' vow.

Here in Europe we have many such forced marriages. Native Brits, Belgians, Danes, Dutch, French, Germans, Italians and others were not asked whether they wanted all these millions of Muslims to come and settle in their countries. It must be said however, some Muslims were actually invited. Like thousands of Spaniards and Italians, the first Moroccans* and Turks came on invitation. As 'guest workers' on contracts (from around 1960). At least that is how the lock on the floodgate was opened in Holland.

In Holland most of these Moroccan and Turkish guests stayed. And we let them. What's a few thousand immigrants anyway? Then the Muslim guests had their families come over -and their families -and many more (family) as brides and grooms, often in arranged marriages. The thousands became millions in Europe.

Neighborhoods could absorb some newcomers, particularly if their culture was somewhat similar and they were willing tot fit in, adept, adjust, if not assimilate. The newcomers from, for example, Italy and Spain did. Muslims, as a group, didn't. That is the perception. At least from the outside. With among other things their silly dress codes. Because some Prophet or God wants them to dress like that. Or so they and we have been told. Something to do with lust and seduction. Apparently even girls as young as four, five years old can instill lust or beg to be jumped if not properly wrapped up.

And it doesn't really matter whether most of them actually do try to fit in, adept and adjust, or even assimilate. Human reason unfortunately is mostly based on perception. Not on facts. 'We' and 'they' are all biased, prejudiced and arrogant creatures. Perhaps even somewhat racist by nature. A proper education and decent upbringing cannot change that. Not a lot anyway. When emotions start to run high, reason is the first to run away. Between husband and wife, between families and clans, between races and nations.

Of course God doesn't help either. Because he's always on our side. Not their side, although they say he is. Their God, whom many of them take extremely seriously, make them tell or yell at least five times a day that he is indeed the greatest. The one and only true God. And always right. Their book says so too. Repeatedly. Actually, on every page. Nothing happens or gets done without their God's consent. In ðâ Allâh. Their God also hates non-believers. And it doesn't take much to be one. We have just stopped fighting for our God. They still go straight to heaven, dying while doing so.

Where there is a heaven, there often is a hell as well. The road towards it is always paved with good intentions. Like: "we -our races, cultures, religions and beliefs- are all equal". Or wishful thinking like: "we can, shall and must al live together in peace and harmony". Alas, we never have. Or we first kicked someone else out and then we lived happily ever after. Ish. Peace and harmony wishes - which the wishers over time changed into commands- are often immediately followed by wishes of good fortune for all. We all deserve to be rich and if you're not it's because some other bastard doesn't play by the rules. In the case of our well-wishing road-paving friends, these bastards are invariably Westerners. In other words, they themselves. Or their forefathers. They had slaves you know. They stole land. Bastards.

Such "the Westerners did it", isn't considered a biased, prejudiced or racist opinion by our well-wishing friends. Oddly enough "the Muslims did it", or even "we all did it" -is. Odd, no? Westerners nor Muslims are a race. Or do these non-racist well-wishers consider a black, yellow or brownish Westerner something else? Something different? But we are all equal? In good and bad. For better or worse. Till death do us part.

Or we get a divorce. We seem to have reached a point where staying together doesn't work. We irritate the hell out of each other. Done so for years (if not centuries). We want to make them like us and they want to make us like them. Neither of us wants to give in. Apart from those who pave the road to hell that is. Most well-wishers are nice, educated and civilized people. Really. At least that is what they consider themselves. They will eat anything. They are very open-minded. So open-minded that their brains have fallen out.

And, even the blind can see we can't live together in peace. Yes, even the blind can see it. The blind have dogs to see for them. However, take the dog on the bus (or cab) and you might have to leave these eyes behind. Or wait for another bus. Why? Because the religious beliefs of an equal are offended by the presence of the dog. A dog is a filthy animal. Or so the Muslim bus driver tells you. Or one of these well-wishers has an open mind for such bollocks.

As in marriage, sometimes a small incident becomes the fuse to blow it apart. Usually 'the bucket was already full'. And the buckets are full in Europe. We must get a divorce. Or the 'till death do us part' will be bloody. For everybody. Including those who paved the road to hell.

*In 1965 there were 4500 Moroccans in Holland. In 1971 their number had grown to 22.000. In 1973 the practice of guest worker recruitment stopped. Yet, by 1980 there were 72.000 Moroccans in Holland. Their number grew to 168.000 in 1990 and 349.270 in 2010

Source: Interdisciplinary Demographic Institute at the Research Institute Royal Dutch Academy of Sciences (NIDI-KNAW -.pdf -in Dutch). Official Dutch Statistics Office -CBS -in Dutch).

Krijgt u ze ook regelmatig? Of variaties hierop van andere instellingen?

Van: member_accountcomfirmation@ymail.com - KPN ACCOUNT UPDATE

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Waarschuwing! Account eigenaar (s) die weigert om zijn of haar account update binnen zeven dagen na ontvangst van deze mededeling eindigt wordt opgeschort permanent.

Yep. 'Donald' is weer bezig. En, Donald heeft Google Vertalen ontdekt. De vorige keer dat ik Donald terugmailde noemde deze zich 'Dr. Donald Cole -Project Manager, Nigeria National Petroleum Corporation, Folomo Complex Lagos Nigeria'. Nu werkt hij dus bij KPN. Ik mailde maar weer eens terug. Op iets minder milde toon.

Dear rectal deposit,

Your slow single brain cell has finally found Google Translate. Congratulations. Of course, since you are a Nigerian, you're too lazy to check out its accuracy. Among other things. So you sent this garbled translation of one of your standard scams in plain e-mail text to zillions more and who knows, maybe some of them have even less than a disabled working brain cell. Perhaps such people do exist. Even outside Nigeria. Probably the most retarded country on the planet. Yet, proud origin of the locally popular Nigerian scam song 'I go chop yo dollah'. You have become, as a nation, such pathetic people.

You kill your children because they are witches. You kill each other because of the wrong Juju. You rob, you steal, you lie, you cheat. If you have some power, you're twice the crook. If you're a politician, ten times. As you pull your scams not just as Nigerians, but as your neighbours too, you give the whole of Africa a bad reputation. And at some point the world will be so sick of Nigerians, they will chop all dollahs to that continent. Just to get at you.

Now, as is usually the case when someone gets a bit rude to or critical about some black people, you probably think "fuckin' racist pig". Perhaps you're right. But then, will my admittance of being a racist pig solve Nigeria's sorry state of affairs, sick and bent reputation? Or your imbecility?

Now, be a good lad. Go and take this big thing of yours. You do have a big one don't you? Take it, shake it and get it hard. Very hard. Done that? Good. Now, see that concrete wall across the street? Run to it as fast as you can and drill it. And then you can go fuck yourself. Or stick it up your ass.

Yo' obedient servant,

Michiel Mans

'I go chop yo' dollah'

"Yo, Mullah Omar here."
-"This is president Obama."-
"Wadde you want infidel."
-"I'd like tot inform you about our Afghanistan strategy for the coming 18 months."-
"You're kidding me. Even Iblis Bush wasn't that stupid. Besides, he was a liar too, which made whatever he said unreliable."
-"But I'm Barack Obama, you can trust me."-
"So they keep telling. All right infidel, shoot."

-"Well, we'll start with sending some 30.000 additional troops."-
"Interesting. Got any unit names, equipment levels or deployment schedules?"
-"You really need that too? I'll send you a list later but I can give you some details about their deployment right away. We'll deploy troops differently in the future. We'll try the Dutch approach, which means less bombs on your heads and more hearts&minds stuff on the civilians."-

"Dutch? Never heard of it."
-"Not it, them. They are troops from the Netherlands who fight against the Taliban in Afghanistan.
"Against us? Really? Where?"
-"Uruzgan."-
"How many of them are fighting there?"
-"About two thousand."-
"Ahh, that explains it. You know what size Uruzgan is? So easy to overlook them. But tell me, have they killed that many of my brave warriors that you gonna follow their example?"

-"Not to my knowledge, but it is their way of dealing with matters that seems to work. It is an example for us all."-
"It works? Really? Last time I checked, we were still pretty much doing as we pleased in Uruzgan. So, as far as this Dutch approach is concerned, 'go ahead punk, make my day'."
-"Well, it is only partly the Dutch approach, we'll be doing lots of the usual blood, guts and stuff from Buffs as well."-
"Thanks, we don't want our warriors to get bored."

-"Well..rrr..that is the next thing."-
"Wadda you mean?"
-"Well, we'll go Dutch and whatever else for another 18 months and then we'll start saying goodbye, farewell, good luck and shit."-
"You mean, you'll piss off in a year and a half?"
-"Yeah, sort of."-
"Great. In that case, we'll piss off across the Paki border right now, have a nice long R&R with plenty of nookie and come back when you fuck off. ALLAH AKBAR."

To: info@algathafi.org -President Mu'ammar Al-Gathafi (that's how our great Libyan leader prefers his name) - www.algathafi.org

Dear President Mu'ammar Al-Gathafi

Once again we had good fun with you. As is usual these days, it happened in Italy. In the past you liked to entertain yourself at the French Riviera with naughty nights of Black Label and nookie. Now your Mental likes to travel to Italy. Here your Wickedness doesn't only spread the fruit of his loin, but also the word of Allah's messenger (piss be upon him). Your Hornyness still has class though. Your Thorough Rotten didn't invite the ignorant meek in the shape of two hundred beggars, two hundred poor lost souls or two hundred lonely old women, but two hundred young beauties to be converted to Islam. Your Utter Bollocks must have been in the mood. No? Perhaps not as much as last time, when seven hundred ladies or so could have found heaven with you between their legs, but still, two hundred for one night is not a bad score for your Fruitcake.

Did your Sickness succeed in converting any of these infidel whores to the One True Faith? I'm very curious what surahs you gave them foul uncovered sinners. So thoughtful of your Imbecile to give them all a Qur'an to keep. The Prophet (piss be upon him) must be proud of you. Did them wicked Italian models make life err..hard for you during your Qur'an lecture? Your Vomit must have fought a thousand seductions from these evil infidel women. Yes I know, there were only two hundred, but they were Italian girls. I have no pity for your Moron though. You invited them.

Did all the girls stay the whole lecture? I know your Puke occasionally forgets the time in all your enthusiasm. Did they hang on every word you spoke about Islam, the Prophet, peace and shit? I'm sure they did. Everybody always listens with great interest to any word your Mumbling Rambler utters. Who can forget your glorious UN speech? It made lasting bowel movements and many breakfasts found an early grave under seats in lieu of a toilet. Words can make a difference. Words can have an impact. Your Nonsense's words most definitely.

I am so glad our wise European leaders have welcomed you again and appreciate your visits, advises and messages. When you fist arrived again in Brussels in 2004, after a long period of silly misunderstandings, ignorance and mistrust on our behalf, I wept. I cried warm tears of welcome when your Garbage set foot in our European Capital. I let out loud cheers of joy when our leaders embraced your Bastard. Peace and wisdom at last.

Your obedient servant,

Michiel Mans